I had a pet lizard named George

He was cool, but he made me really bored

So I gave him to my mom and she loves him very much

Because animals are better than people

They try to cancel me, cancel me

Bother me, bother me

Stop bothering me, I don't even like my job

Karens, shut the f*ck up

Vegans, shut the f*ck up

Babies, shut the f*ck up

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

Putin, shut the f*ck up

War, shut the f*ck up

Dinosaurs, shut the f*ck up

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

Traffic, shut the f*ck up

People, shut the f*ck up

Groceries, shut the f*ck up

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

My therapist says I need help

'Cause my best friend is an elf on the shelf

He's got dietary needs, and he scares me when I sleep

That's why Amazon should be illegal

They try to cancel me, cancel me

Bother me, bother me

Stop bothering me, I am working really hard

DJs, shut the f*ck up

Paintings, shut the f*ck up

Taxes, shut the f*ck up

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

Email, shut the f*ck up

French people, shut ze f*ck up

New years, shut the f*ck up

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

Molecules, shut the f*ck up

Golf, shut the f*ck up

Bulldogs, just kidding, I love you

Everyone needs to shut the f*ck up

Okay, time for the PSA

Dogs are good

People are bad

Dogs good, people bad

I said, dogs good, people bad

Shut your mouth, don't be mad

It's the truth