Well, that's all I need, for God's sake

One, four, three, two, one, oh, here we go

Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

You'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

You can have me hat or me bumbler shoe

But you'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

A gentleman's got a walking stick, a seaman's got a gaff

And the merry men of Robin Hood, they used a quarterstaff

On the Spanish plains inside their canes, they hide their ruddy swords

But we make do with an old bamboo, and everyone applauds!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, oh!

Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

You'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

You can have me hat or me bumbler shoe

But you'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

When punting on the beautiful Thames, you use a sturdy pole

To protect their fair complexion, ladies use a parasol

It's useful in the underbrush, to have a hefty spear

Right! But what we do with an old bamboo

Makes everybody cheer!

One, two, three oh!

Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

You'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

You can have me hat or me bumbler shoe

But you'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

('Ere we go, mate)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven

Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

You'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

You can have me hat or me bumbler shoe

But you'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo

You'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo!