You're a slob it's such a bore

Your underwear strewn on the floor

And you're a packrat most extreme

Our house is full of magazines

The toilet's broke and yet I bet

His majesty ain't fixed it yet

You're one to talk sleepyhead

And get your fat a*s out of bed

Oh but in the eyes of God

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

So until then I'm stuck with you

You swore that you'd be true to me

But gave be infidelity

Why should I give a tinker's cuss

She was your sister what's the fuss

Well then let's propose a truce

What's good for gander is good for goose

Hey now that's different you took to bed

My favorite dog and all my friends

Oh but in the eyes of God

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

So until then I'm stuck with you

Oh but in the eyes of god

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

This is my curse I said I do

Better or worse I'm stuck with you

You poked my eye I wear a patch

I should've given you one to match

Did you forget you got me back

You chopped my thumb off with an axe

You drowned my kittens one by one

You looked like you were having fun

You stabbed my mother in the chest

With a Korean bayonet

Oh but in the eyes of god

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

So until then I'm stuck with you

Oh but in the eyes of god

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

This is my curse I said I do

Lest you die first I'm stuck with you

And now I lie here in the grave

I pray to god my soul to save

And in the darkness of the tomb

I'm glad I'm lying next to you

And as I lay here 6 feet down

My body buried under ground

In this dank and dreary cold

I'm just glad I'm not alone

Oh but in the eyes of god

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

So until then I'm stuck with you

Oh but in the eyes of god

We said our vows before the pews

Not until death may we part

I'm not sad I said I do

I'm just glad I was stuck with you