I was just a kid but I learned much too fast

Found the internet way too young a scar that would last

And you know that I hate thinking someone else did this to me

But I had all the resources because of your enabling

And sometimes I wonder if I didn't hurt so bad

Would I have been more lovable to my mom and my dad

And if I went back in time to see six year old me

Id say this shit does not get better this is who you're meant to be and

I am a monster so you say

I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain so I can

I try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You say this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending that you love me

I'll believe you although you never show it to me

"Wow you're such a quiet kid" they all would say to me

Don't call me an old soul when I'm just unhappy

You treated me like an adult when I was still so young

You ask what you did wrong but you f**g knew it all along

I know that I was difficult or I knew that's how you felt

I was told that I was selfish when I needed f**g help

I remember when I lied to you I ran away and hid

You didn't have to hurt me I was just a little kid

I was just a little kid

And now I'm still a little kid and

I am a monster so you say

I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain so I can

I try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You say this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending that you love me

And I'll believe you I'll believe you

I am a monster so you say

I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain so I can

I try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You say this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending that you love me

And I'll believe you but you never show it to me