Rap Battle
Doctor Strange
Vs
The Doctor
Begin!
(Ohhh) So that's why my psychic paper keeps going missing
This phony is after it because he knows
He'll pass as Tony Stark but with no Vision
Give up the act, that bad American accent
Could not be mended with magic, strange, you look like the master
If he mastered the art of chatting to fabric
My sonic screwdriver has the mic locked
You're a colonizer in knee high docs
I know the Ancient One is rocking make-shift robes
But they really didn't need a bloody white wash (no!)
You don't want to face a Time Lord in a rhyme war
You're minor to the Daleks that I fought
My TARDIS is like the Ferrari of time travel
Your stone's literally an eyesore
Ooh, yeah, sports cars are a shaky topic right
'Course now that joke was an accident
Let's hope it still lands well unlike yours
Sherlock, I better beg of you to answer me this question
'Cuz it's taking me a bit to understand it
How did the Avengers take on Thanos in a secondary battle
When the difference is the magician vanished?
No, let me ask you, Doctor
With no sling ring in sight
How do you cast those plot holes that are way bigger on the inside?
So take your cafuffals you solve with
Loving hugs and macguffins and shut it
I haven't seen softer Doctors since McStuffins
I'll tell you something, I've looked in 14 million futures
But it didn't change 'cuz I don't need the time stone
To know that your the same in each iteration!
This Limey time travels and swoops a companion
Uses plot armor to save the whole planet
'Til this man panics and leaves them abandoned
And then he gets damaged, so they bring in a stand-in
Then the BBC says "we've come to bargain, let's barf it again"
You're just a dangerous threat to your friends
It's ironic your rapping is far from a 10!
I can bend time to do what I choose to time bends
You like it's deja voodoo
That screwdriver is stupid to use
'Cause no one has the drive to ever screw you!
Go hype on the beats, call me Sorcerer Supreme
I light up the screen to a thousand degrees!
When it comes to degrees, you can actually check mine
Strange is dishing out the best rhymes since Tech N9ne!
You girl got stuck in a parallel world and I'm sure that you miss her
But the truth is Doctor
you killed Rose the moment you picked her!
Speaking of parallel universes
I'm truly certain you hopped in a few and threw the bootleg
Chris Nolan mutant through to ours to come to shoot your stupid movie!
Allons-y? Bene-dick to me? I can't say that's a shocker
But it's strange how your a defender
And yet Doom's a more heroic doctor!
Your show is as stiff as your angels, expect I couldn't bear to watch
I'm tearing off like a paradox
You can't square against the most prepared in this pair of docs
Suck my pears, you knob
You traveled through time, but know you should clock out
Disappear in that police box again and call that a cop out!
Well, I gave you a choice
You either get destroyed or you shot your holes
You're ja-doomed either way 'because I flow so dope though!
When your firmly gripping the mic with those hands
You're close to dropping it
From surgical precision to whiney, why me, wibbly wobbly
Ay, I've visited colonies
Met millions of species with different biologies
But not had a single thing bother me as much as that prickly s**t
around the rim of your lip has done honestly!
Ay, just ask River how I make a Song bang!
You brought your brother back from the dead
And he didn't even say 'fangs'!
Use that Infinity Stone to get this over with
I'm not scared of Adam Sandler's remote from Click!
All that hocus pocus, but no hope for sis, that's a curse that
not even your cloak could lift
I've not met a man akin to this bumbling dummy
Who was raised by evil space beings like "are you my dar-mummy?"
Doesn't it break both your hearts knowing Gallifrey is toast?
I could save your whole race from extinction but I won't!
I assembled the Avengers when everything crumbled
You rallied a generation onto Tumblr
Your hatred for guns has made one the thing for certain
That's why you were firing not shots in your verses!
The person you lure next will
Surely be spared of your meaningless trust
When you become the second alien that's bitten the dust
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
The next rap battle is on the way!