Raise your glass

We have incorporated

Place your bets

We're all so sick of waiting

Queen takes jack

You got me this time but I'll get you back

So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most was I supposed to cheer your efforts

Sorry that I chose so poorly

Golly gee am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places

The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces

She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when it's raining

Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats

Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs

They'd make an angels skin crawl

If you ask them for assistance

There's an even chance

You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them

I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

To all the ones that hated me the most a toast

You really had me going for a second I was nervous boy

Am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster

The kind who tells you she's bipolar just to make you trust her

She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser

Just to make you jealous of the men she f**ked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test

To prove your prowess

Who was mine in '99 I want last names and current status

To all the ones who hated me the most a toast

You really had me going for second I was nervous boy

Am I the poster girl

For some suburban sickness better keep a healthy distance

Now it's up to you know what to do it's pretty

Dirty business