I've been writing to a long distance lover

This commitment exceeds

That of any of the other relationships

I've forged outta physical connection

Self quarantine every evening at eleven

I've been writing to a phantom pen pal

It's love she never questions any lies I tell

Nestled in the confidence of words in text

She dwarfs my friends and they're reduced into nothingness

All my best ideas ring out and fall upon absent ears

The weight of my emotions rests

On the shoulders of a phantom penpal

The penpal fights the battles that my letters narrate

She takes the form of any lover that my hand could create

She plays out all the schemes that I only contemplate

I see them manifest on the white of the page

But they never translate into positive change

Oh the hopelessness of motionless objects of faith

I've been finding consolation in solitude

Embracing routine and ritual

For all the shit I never get to say

The pencil rests an arms length away