Right now you are down and out

And feeling really crappy,

I'll say

And when I see how sad you are

It sort of makes me happy,

happy?

Sorry Nicky human nature

nothing I can do

It's schadenfreude

Making me feel glad

that I'm not you

That's not very nice, Gary!

I didn't say it was nice!

But everybody does it

Did ya ever clap

when a waitress falls

And drops a tray of glasses

yeah

And ain't it fun to watch

figure skaters

falling on their ass*s?

Sure

And don't cha feel

all warm and cozy

Watching people out in the rain,

you bet

That's schadenfreude!

People taking pleasure

in your pain

Oh, Schadenfreude, huh

What's that,

some kinda Nazi word?

Yup! It's German for happiness

at the misfortune of others

Happiness at the

misfortune of others

that is German

Watching a vegetarian

being told she just ate chicken

Or watching a frat boy realize

just what he put his d*ck in

Being on the elevator

when somebody shouts

"Hold the door!"

No

schadenfreude!

F*ck you lady,

that's what stairs are for

Oh, how about,

straight a students getting B's?

Exes getting STD's,

waking doormen from their naps

Watching tourists reading maps,

football players getting tackled

CEO's getting shackled,

watching actors never reach

The ending of their Oscar speech

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

The world needs people

like you and me

Who've been

knocked around by fate

'Cause when people see us,

they don't want to be us

And that makes them feel great

Sure,

we provide a vital service

to society

You and me

schadenfreude

Making the world a better place

Making the world a better place

Making the world a better place

to be

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E