A customer
Wait what's your rush what's your hurry
You gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute can't you sit sit you down sit
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks
Did you come in for a pie sir
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague
What was that
But you'd think we had the plague
From the way that people
Keep avoiding
No you don't
Heaven knows I try sir
But there's no one comes in even to inhale
Right you are sir would you like a drop of ale
Mind you I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know
I make them
But good no
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite the worst pies in London
If you doubt it take a bite
Is that just disgusting
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here drink this you'll need it
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
What are dyin' in the street
Mrs Mooney has a pie shop
Does a business but I notice something weird
Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her
What a course
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick
No denying times is hard sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like well pity
A woman's alone with limited wind
And the worst pies in London
Ah sir
Times is hard
Times is hard
