Guess what, ever since the world began

Same plot, everyone's been dumping on a fellow man

Pounding people they feel better than

I hope you're taking notes, 'cause

You feel everyone deserves a s**t

Get real; some of us have got it girl and some got squat

That's the truth; oh honey, like it or not

I hate to break it to you!

My daddy taught me you get nowhere being nice

So now I'm sharing his advice:

The world according to Chris is:

Better to strike than get struck

Better to screw than get screwed

You\'d probably think it's bizarre

But that\'s the way things are!

But that doesn't mean it has to be that way. What does it cost to be kind?

Eww. What have you done with my best friend? So Billy, am I right or am I right?

Trust me

I swear, there's a d**k in every class

Not fair; each and every time I fail, those losers pass!

Hey, every one of them can kiss my ass!

You wonder why I love him

One year, there was this good looking guy

So queer, and on top of that, he had a wandering eye

One day he looks at me a -HUUH!- Bye-Bye!

I bet he got the message

We\'re here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works

If you don't listen, then you're jerks

The world according to Chris is:

Better to punch than get punched

Better to burn than get burn

Learn that and you're gonna go far

'Cause that's the way things are!

Hananana Nanananana

Hananana Nananana

Hananana Nanananana

Hananana Nananana

Can you believe her?!

Come on, Sue. She's just being Chris

You weren't there! It was awful, we were hurting Carrie!

Ahh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad

Tommy you don't understand

What was just a joke got out of hand

We kept on screaming 'til she hit the floor!

Come on, everybody was doing it

Hey, I was in there too

What came over me was something new

I did things I've never done before!

And now I wish there's something I could do or say

I\'ve never ever felt this way

Look, Sue

Don't be so hard on yourself

You can tell me to keep my mouth shut

But, wanna know what I'd advise?

What?

Apologize

Apologize…! Tommy, you're a genius!

Eww, Sue, I can tell you're feeling sad

Boo-hoo! So we clobber Carrie and that's too damn bad!

This is why you gotta love my dad!

He's got the right idea!

My daddy taught me who's on top and who

Who's below

And now it's time I let you know

The world according to Chris!

You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all of this!

Why are you being such a buzzkill?

Chris, grow up!

Let's party people!

According to Chris!

The world according to Chris! (The world!)

The world according to Chris! (According to Chris!)

The world according to Chris! (The world!)

The world according to Chris! (The world!)

The world according to Chris is

Better to whip than get whipped

Even if somebody blinks

Please; nobody dies from a scar

And that's the way things are…