There! Right There!
Look at that tan, well tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate
This guy's not gay, I say not gay
That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically radically fey?
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Look at his silk translucent socks
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seeing
What are we seeing?
Is he gay?
Of course he's gay
Or European?
Ohhhhhh
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
Well, hey don't look at me
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They will say things like "ciao bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks
Oh please
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way
Is he gay or European?
Or
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way
That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume
Is automatically-radically
Ironically chronically
Certainly pertin'tly
Genetically medically
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMNIT!
Gay or European?
So stylish and relaxed
Is he gay or European?
I think his chest is waxed
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
Yet his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy toed
Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday
Is he gay or European?
Gay or european?
Gay or Euro
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try
The floor is yours
So Mr. Argitacos
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?
2 years
And your first name again is...?
Mikos
And your boyfriend's name is...?
Carlos
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples
I have a big announcement
This man is Gay and European!
And neither is disgrace
You've got to stop your being
A completely closet case
No matter what he say
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way
You are so gay
You big parfait!
You flaming one man cabaret
I'm straight!
You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay!
And European!
He's gay!
And European!
He's gay!
And European and Gay!
Fine okay I'm gay!
Hooray!
Mikos and Carlos:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!
