Ever since I was a boy, I′ve been afraid of clowns

Their horrifying faces never failed to bring me down

The only thing more scary are sharks deep in the sea

I couldn't touch a swimming pool ′til I was 23

Still every night I thank each of the stars up in the sky

There's no such thing as clown sharks out there to make me cry

A world without that nightmare is a world where I can be

Happy and relaxed in and endless state of peace

CLOWN SHARK

I'm real, I′m here, I′m worse than you feared

I can juggle five balls and then swallow a deer

I'm coming for you from the hell depths beneath

I got pancake make-up and razor-sharp teeth

I use big clown shoes to chase you on land

I crush cars with my jaws and my giant fun hands

Oh no, please tell me that this is a trick

Do I look like I′m joking? Just pray you die quick

Did that really just happen? It couldn't have been real

No creature′s ever wanted to honk horns then eat a seal

There's no such thing as clown sharks, and those are just the facts

I′m calming down inside and I can finally relax

CLOWN SHARK

I'm scarier than ever

It's time for you to panic

My rainbow wig makes me more aerodynamic

I got big floppy pants and black eyes in my head

Here′s a funny balloon shaped like you being dead

I use my sense of smell to locate you in the park

Then I drove here in a Miata filled with fifteen other sharks

My jolly red nose is smelling blood in the water

So step right up for a feedign frenzy circus of slaughter