Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99

Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future,

Sunscreen would be it

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...

I will dispense this advice now...

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth

Oh nevermind;

You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded

But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before

You and how fabulous you really looked...

You are not as fat as you imagine

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as

Effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that

Never crossed your worried mind

The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts

Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...

The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...

The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives

Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't

Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't

Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding

Anniversary...

What ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either

Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's

Enjoy your body

Use it every way you can...

Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it

It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good

Be nice to your siblings

They are the best link to your past

And the people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle

Because the older you get

The more you need the people you knew when you were young

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths

Prices will rise

Politicians will philander

You too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young

Prices were reasonable

Politicians were noble

And children respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you

Maybe you have a trust fund

Maybe you have a wealthy spouse

But you never know when either one might run out

Don't mess too much with your hair

Or by the time you're 40, it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy, but

Be patient with those who supply it

Advice is a form of nostalgia

Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off

Painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the sunscreen