Listen everyone...
There were objects so peculiar,
They were not to be believed,
All around things to tantalize my brain.
It's a world unlike
anything I've ever seen.
And as hard as I try,
I can't seem to describe,
Like a most improbable dream!
But you must believe
when I tell you this.
It's as real as my skull,
And it does e ist!
Here, let me show you...
(Ohhhhh!)
This is a thing called a present!
The whole thing starts with a bo !
A bo ? Is it steel? Are there locks?
Is it filled with a po ?
A po ? How delightful, a po !
If you please,
Just a bo with bright colored paper,
And the whole thing's topped with a bow!
A bow? But why? How ugly!
What's in it? What's in it?!
That's the point of the thing,
not to know!
It's a bat, will it bend?
It's a rat, will it break?
Perhaps it's the head
that I found in the lake!
Listen now, you don't understand.
That's not the point of Christmas Land!
Now, pay attention...
We pick up an over sized sock,
And hang it like this on the wall.
Oh, yes, does it still have a foot?
Let me see! Let me look!
Is it rotted and covered with gook?!
Let me e plain.
There's no foot inside,
but there's candy!
Or sometimes it's filled with small toys
Small toys?! Do they bite? Do they snap?
Or e plode in a sack?
Or perhaps they just spring out
and scare girls and boys!
What a splendid idea,
this Christmas sounds fun!
Why, I fully endorse it,
let's try it at once!
Everyone, please now, not so fast!
There's something here that
you don't quite grasp.
(Well, I may as well give
them what they want...)
And the best, I must confess,
I have saved for the last,
For the ruler of this Christmas Land...
Is a fearsome king with
a deep mighty voice!
Least that's what I've
come to understand.
And I've also heard it told,
that he's something to behold,
like a lobster, huge and red!
And sets out to slay
with his rain gear on,
carting bulging sacks,
with his big great arms!
That is, so I've heard it said.
And on a dark, cold night,
under full moonlight,
He flies into a fog,
like a vulture in the sky!
And they call him Sandy Claws!
Hehehehe!
(Wa hoo! Yeah!)
Well, at least they're e cited...
Though they don't understand,
That special kind of feeling
in Christmas land...
Oh, well...
