John Rocker, your proctologist called,

They just found your head

You′ve been awarded the Golden Rubber Glove,

For that stupid crap you said

You've got the loudest mouth in baseball,

Nobody could shut you up

So in New York, even in your street clothes,

You probably oughta wear a cup

John, your off your rocker

Better, clean out that locker

Or go out and throw about 22 perfect games

Son, you′ve clinched a spot

Next to Marge Schotte

In the Dipshit Hall Of Fame

John Rocker, Detective Furhman called

He knows how you feel

And I bet you Congressman David Duke

Would probably help with your appeal

Maybe you won't get suspended

Or have to pay that 20 grand

But if you can't close for the Braves right now,

You can start for the Ku Klux Klan

John, you′re off your rocker

Thank God you don′t play soccer

Cause you'd probably get killed in a riot in the stands

If you do an interview again, Ted said he′s bringin' in

A gay right handed pitcher from Japan

(Preferrably mute)