I have only comparatively

Recently emerged from the

United States Army so that

I am now of course in

The radioactive reserve And

The usual jokes about

The Army aside one of the

Many fine things one has

To admit is the way that the

Army has carried the

American democratic ideal to

It's logical conclusion

In the sense that not only do

They prohibit discrimination

On the grounds of race creed

And color but also on

The grounds of ability

Be that as it may some of

You may recall the publicity

A few years ago attendant

Upon the Army's search for an

Official Army song to be

The counterpart of the Navy's

Anchors Aweigh and the

Air Force's Up In The Air

Junior Birdman and so on

I was I was in basic training at

The time and I recall our

Platoon sergeant who was

An unfrocked Marine Actually

Actualy

The change of service

Had come as quite a blow to

Him because it meant that

He had to memorize a new serial

Number which took up

Most of his time

At any rate I recall this

Sergeant's informing me and

My roommates of this rather

Deplorable fact that the

Army didn't have any official

Excuse me didn't have

No official song and suggested

Suggested that we work on this in

Our copious free time Well

I submitted the following

Song which is called It

Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A

Soldier which I think

Demonstrates the proper spirit

You'll agree However the fact

That it did not win the

Contest I can ascribe only to

Blatant favoritism on part

Of the judges

The heart of every man in our

Platoon must swell with pride

For the nation's youth the cream

Of which is marching at his side

For the fascinating rules and

Regulations that we share

And the quaint and curious costumes

That we're called upon to wear

Now Al joined up to do his

Part defending you and me

He wants to fight and bleed

And kill and die for liberty

With the hell of war he's come to grips

Policing up the filter tips

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

When Pete was only in the

Seventh grade he stabbed a cop

He's real R A material

And he was glad to swap

His switchblade and his old zip gun

For a bayonet and a new M 1

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

After Johnny got through

Basic training he

Was a soldier through and

Through when he was done

It's effects were so well rooted

That the next day he saluted

A Good Humor man an usher and a nun

Now Fred's an intellectual

Brings a book to every meal

He likes the deep philosophers

Like Norman Vincent Peale

He thinks the army's just the thing

Because he finds it broadening

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

Now Ed flunked out of second grade

And never finished school

He doesn't know a shelter half

From an entrenching tool

But he's going to be a big success

He heads his class at OCS

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

Our old mess sergeant's taste

Buds had been shot off in the war

But his savory collations

Add to our esprit de corps

To think of all the marvelous ways

They're using plastics nowadays

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

Our lieutenant is the up and coming type

Played with soldiers as a boy you just can bet

It is written in the stars

He will get his captain's bars

But he hasn't got enough box tops yet

Our captain has a handicap

To cope with sad to tell

He's from Georgia and he doesn't

Speak the language very well

He used to be so rumor has

The Dean of Men at Alcatraz

It makes a fellow proud to be

What as a kid I vowed to be

What luck to be allowed to be a soldier

At ease

It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier - Tom Lehrer