I admit that in the past I've been a nasty 
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch 
But you'll find that nowadays 
I've mended all my ways 
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch 
True? Yes 
And I fortunately know a little magic 
It's a quality I always have possessed 
And dear lady, please don't laugh 
I use it on behalf 
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (Pathetic) 
Poor unfortunate souls 
In pain, in need 
This one longing to be thinner 
That one wants to get the girl 
And do I help them? 
Yes, indeed 
Those poor unfortunate souls 
So sad, so true 
They come flocking to my cauldron 
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" 
And I help them 
Yes I do 
Now it's happened once or twice 
Someone couldn't pay the price 
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals 
Yes I've had the odd complaint 
But on the whole I've been a saint 
For those poor unfortunate souls 
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber 
They think a girl who gossips is a bore 
Yes, on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word 
And after all dear, what is idle prater for? 
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation 
True gentlemen avoid it if they can 
But they dote and swoon and fawn 
On a lady who's withdrawn 
It is she who holds her tongue who gets a man 
Come on you poor unfortunate soul 
Go ahead 
Make your choice 
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day 
It won't cost much 
Just your voice 
You poor unfortunate soul 
It's sad but true 
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet 
You've got the pay the toll 
Take a gulp and take a breath 
And go ahead and sign the scroll 
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys 
The boss is on a roll 
For this poor unfortunate soul