I Can Do Without You

In the summer you're the winter

In the finger you're the splinter

In the banquet you're the stew

Say

I could do without you

In the garden you're the gopher

In the Levi's you're the loafer

Like an overturned canoe

Well

I could do without you

You can go to Philadelphia

Take a hack to Hackensack

Hey

I'll never ring a bell fer yer

Or yell fer yer to come back

In the question you're the why

In the ointment you're the fly

Though I know some things are indefensible

Like a buck or two

If there's one thing I can do without

I can do without you

In the barrel you're a pickle

In the goldmine you're a nickel

You're the tack inside my shoe

Yes

I can do without you

In my bosom you're a dagger

You're a mangy carpetbagger

In the theatre you're the boo

I can do without you

You got charms they ain't bewitchin' me

You've a face no one would paint

I got the darndest itch in me

To be wherever you ain't

In the bullfrog you're the croak

In the forest poison oak

Though I know some things are necessary

My half pint buckaroo

If there's one thing I can do without

I can do without

You're a knothead

You're a faker

You're a bonehead

Troublemaker

I can do without you