Well once i was persuaded to open up my head

I told them how it was

And went and got it wrong instead

I said would you believe me if you only knew

I'd been stealing everything

This conversations through

And the boy cried hang him at three

I saw him on the front page laughing at me

He worked in a fairground in a tall hat

He's a liar he's a liar and a good one at that

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey kick like a mule

I could be your beggar

But i'd rather be just as cruel

So i told them all i could

About what could they expect

But i lost my sense of smell

And i gained my self respect

They told me i was curious

I told them they were slow

They asked me were i get this stuff

I told them i don't know

And the boy cried whoopi de dee

There's a woman with a mustache who wont let me be

Though she was born on a monday

She's a hundred and four

She's a liar she's a liar and a little bit more

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey kick like a mule

I could be your beggar

But i'd rather be just as cruel

And the boy cried hang him at three

I saw him on the front page laughing at me

He worked in a fairground in a tall hat

He's a liar he's a liar and a good one at that

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey kick like a mule

I could be your beggar

But i'd rather be just as cruel

End