I used to have no friends and no job And I'd sit around with no pants on Had no dates, got no love Cause I still live with my grandma
And everyone treated me badly.
City bus would drive right past me.
My dog even said, we're over.
He wants to see other owners.
So I talked to a doctor because I was overthinking.
That day she quit and she recommended I just start drinking.
My dating profile said just swipe left cause I know I'll annoy them.
Women wouldn't even look my direction.
Hey Siri!
i have a boyfriend then one day i overslept woke up late like what the heck check my socials wait a sec next to my name was a big blue
Check?
Bitch, I'm verified.
I'm feeling tremendous now people clap when I finish up a sentence now they build a statue to honor my existence now I got the president filling up my mentions
I don't need a chauffeur.
I ain't had a car since last October.
Ever since they gave me a Nobel Prize, I don't drive because a crowd carries me everywhere on their shoulders.
They put my face on a dollar.
I grew a few inches taller.
Being verified is amazing.
Ellen hit me up and said she wants to have my baby.
And they tore down the Sphinx and replaced it with my face and my social links and they named a new species of dinosaur after me, Pupupasaurus.
Naturally.
When I hang around the queen, she's the one who bows to me.
She's gotta show respect, cause I'm the one with the big blue check.
Bitch, I'm verified.
Bye.
But you're there.
What?
Pop Pop, it's time to cut the grass.
No, Grandma.
I don't have to mow.
I'm verified now.
The veggies?
What?
I don't care if you eat meat or not.
You get out there and cut that grass.
UGH!
