There, right there.
Look at that tan, well-tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Please he's gay, totally gay!
I'm not about to celebrate Every trait could indicate A totally straight expatriate This guy's not gay, I say not gay
That is the elephant in the room.
Well, is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fake?
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
Look at his silk translucent socks.
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Or European?
May or European, it's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
Well, hey, don't look at me.
You see, they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts, gay or foreign fella, the answer could take weeks.
They both say things like ciao bello while it gives you on both cheeks.
Oh, please.
Gay or European, so many shades of grey.
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
Is he gay or European?
Right there.
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay.
I say no way.
That is the elephant in the room.
Well, is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume is automatically, radically, ironically, chronically, virtually, gay, officially gay, officially gay, gay, gay, gay?
Gay or European?
So stylish and relaxed.
Is he gay or European?
I think his chest is waxed.
But they bring their boys out different.
There is culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic.
I still can't crack the code.
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy-toed.
So many shades of gray.
But if he turns out straight, I'm free at eight on Saturday.
Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or...
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
The floor is yours.
So, Mr. Architakos, this alleged affair with Ms.
Wyndham has been going on for... Two years.
And your first name again is?
Nikos.
And your boyfriend's name is?
Carlos.
I'm sorry.
I thought you say best friend.
Carlos is my best friend.
OBJECTION!
I no cover for you no more!
He bust!
I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
THIS MAN IS GAY AND EUROPEAN!
And neither is his face!
You gotta stop your being a completely closet case!
It's me not how I keep seeing!
No matter what he say, I swear he never ever ever seen the other way.
You are so gay, you big pot of hay, you flamey one-bed cabaret.
I'm straight.
So if I may, I'm proud to say, he's gay.
He's gay.
He's gay.
Fine, okay, I'm gay.
Hooray!
