(Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples) 
(Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers) 
(Last seen on Farmers Boulevard headed east) 
(Alias L.L. Cool J) 
(He's bad...) 
Aaaahhhhhhhhhh 
No rapper can rap quite like I can 
I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand 
Not the last Mafioso I'm a MC cop 
Make you say, "Go L.L. and do the wop" 
If you think you can out write me, yeah boy I bet 
Cause I ain't met a m**r who can do that yet 
Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good 
I got a gold nameplate that says I wish you would 
And when battle begins then, I gotta join in and 
Before my rhyme is over, you know Im'ma win 
Cool J has arrived, so you better make way 
Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play! 
Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job 
I don't wear a disguise, because I don't owe the mob 
Got a pinpoint rap, that makes you feel trapped 
So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped 
I'm bad 
(Cool J) 
(Cool J) 
(Cool J) 
(C C C C Cool J J) 
(Cool J) 
(C C C C C C C Cool J J J J J) 
I'm like Tyson, icin' I'm a soldier at war 
I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more 
Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and 
Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere 
MC's can't win I make 'em rust like tin 
They call me Jaws, my hat is like a shark's fin 
Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax 
Some brothers think he's making records, now he must have relaxed 
I couldn't shouldn't, and it'll stay that way 
The best rapper you've heard, is L.L. Cool J 
Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done 
Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one 
And can happen on time, never standin' on line 
You wanna try me? First you better learn how to rhyme 
I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme 
And I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jelly bean 
I'm bad 
I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks 
You were souped you heard me and your ego shrunk 
I'm devastating, I'm so good it's a shame 
Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane 
I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know I have pull 
I enjoy what I'm doing, plus I'm paid in full 
Not Buckaroo Bonsai, but busted out as I 
Say the kinda rhymes that make MC's wish that I'd die 
Never retire, or put my mic on the shelf 
The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself 
Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad 
You want a hit? Give me a hour, plus a pen and a pad 
MC's retreat, 'cuz they know I can beat 'em 
And eat 'em in a battle, and the ref won't cheat 'em 
I'm the best, takin' out all rookies 
So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies 
I'm bad 
(Cool J) 
(Cool J) 
(Cool J) 
(Cool J J J) 
(Cool J J J) 
(C Cool J) 
Never ever no never 
Never wearin' no Levi's, battle me, why try 
I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy bye bye 
Sparrin' MC's, and Im'ma never get whipped 
When I retire, I'll get worshipped like a old battleship 
L.L. I'm bad, other rappers know 
When I enter the set, they say, "Yo, yo. There he go!" 
My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge 
Not a puncher or a hunter from a racoon lodge 
The original Todd, teachin' how to be hard 
Take the skin off a snake, and split a pea from a pod 
You're a novice, I'm noble, and I dissect with my tongue 
Not Atilla the Hun,? but no I'm Threwler his son? 
My vocal's exact, like rack and pinion in a Jag 
You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag 
No good scavenger, catfish, vulture 
My tongue's a chisel in this competition sculpture 
I'm bad 
(Think I'm gonna need backup) 
(Think I'm gonna need backup) 
(What you need that for?) 
(Yo this is L.L. Cool J) 
(And you'll never catch me so don't even try it) 
(I'm too bad for ya, understand...) 
Aaaaaahhhh... I'm bad!