When I run into friends of mine

I haven't seen in years

They give me the once over

Then their eyes well up with tears

Then they pronounce me

'Looking great'

I haven't changed a bit

I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I

Know I look like shit

'Cos I saw myself this morning

Phew and I know of what I speak

I'm a human being

But I look like I reek

And a weaker bathroom lightbulb

Just might take care of it

'Cos the mirror shatters your

Illusions when you look like shit

Shit comes in different colours

And consistencies

I guess that I'm just aging

Like the finest wines and cheeses

The guy that's me

Who's in my dreams

Is twenty-five or six

I'm old enough to be his dad

How's that for parlour tricks

Life's a job you're fired from

Unless of course you quit

Gee I wonder if that old blind

Guy knows that he looks like shit

Let's ask him

'Scuse me No over here

Although I know it's natural

I still can't understand

Once I looked like a million bucks

Now more like two grand

We start out with a lot of time

But what happens to it

Times flies when you f**k around

And then you look like shit

Oh ain't it the truth

Brothers and sisters

Shit comes in different colours

And consistencies

'Shit's a gift we make' Freud said

'Here take mine won't you please '

Growing old ain't easy

It's a process so they say

We proceed to our grand finales

Every single day

But dying doesn't worry me

I'm not bothered a bit

I just don't like the thought of

Lying there looking like shit