Traded up for stronger cologne

'Cause he turned his skull into a broken bone

He tried to cry 'cause it hurt to think

Neither lobe works

In a leisure suit made of rhinestones

He watches his dog his clothes

He seems an alright guy what I know

Transit authority funds what I bypass

To get my feeding tube

Tlastic it's made from

Holds up so strong and true

But I want a string quartet

While I use the loo

Spiders crawl up from under

Me to make sure I move

They crawl into my holes

And make me weep and remember my name

He will only dance to a dial tone

He lives on function function alone

There's much behind the eyes

What I know

Traded up for stronger cologne

Smells like going out

Looks like staying at home

And all the while there were spiders in my butt

Crawling around

And I want a string quartet

While I use the loo

Nothing crawls up over my head

To make sure I move