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Get Ruth Sherwood's new bestseller :
100 Easy Ways to Lose a Man
Chapter One
Now the first way to lose a man
You’ve met a charming fellow and you’re out for a spin .
The motor fails and he just wears a helpless grin ,
Don’t bat your eyes and say , ‘what a romantic spot we’re in .’
Just leap out , crawl under the car ,
Say it’s the gasket and fix it in two seconds flat with a bobby pin .
That’s a good way to lose a man .
He takes you to a baseball game ,
You sit knee to knee .
He says , ‘the next man up at bat will bunt , you’ll see .’
Don’t say , ‘oooh , what’s a bunt’ This game’s too hard for little me .’
Just say , ‘bunt’ Are you nuts’! With one out , two men on base ,
And a left-handed batter coming up ,
You’ll walk right into a triple play just like it happened in
The fifth game of the world series in 1923.’
That’s a sure way to lose a man .
A sure sure sure sure way to lose a man ,
A splendid way to lose a man .
Just throw your knowledge in his face ,
He’ll never try for second base .
:79]Ninety-eight ways to go .
The life-guard at the beach that all the girlies adore
Swims bravely out to save you through the ocean’s roar ,
Don’t say , ‘oh , thanks , I would have drowned in just one second more .’
Just push his head under water and yell ,
‘Last one in is a rotten egg’ And race him back to shore!
That’s a swell way to lose a man .
You’ve found your perfect mate and it’s been love from the start .
He whispers , ‘you’re the one to who I give my heart .’
Don’t say , ‘I love you too , my dear , let’s never never part .’
Just say , ‘I’m afraid you’ve made a grammatical error
It’s not ‘to who I give my heart ,’ It's ‘to whom I give my heart’
You see , with the use of the preposition ‘to ,’ ‘Who’ Becomes the indirect object ,
Making the use of ‘whom’ Imperative which
I can easily show you by drawing a simple chart’
That’s a fine way to lose a man .
A fine fine fine fine way to lose a man ,
A dandy way to lose a man .
Just be more well-informed than he ,
You’ll never hear ‘o , promise me .’
Just show him where his grammar errs ,
Then mark your towels ‘hers’ And ‘hers .’
Yes , girls , you too can lose your man ,
If you will use Ruth Sherwood’s plan :
One hundred easy ways to lose a man!