The date started of so well

Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life

She was perfect from what I could tell

How could I not see the danger right in front of me

My favorite food is fish

Baby, that’s my favorite too

I love cartoon dogs

Baby I love Scooby-Doo

Hey girl, what’s your favorite film?

She said

The best movie of all

A masterpiece of art called

Human Centipede

Human Centipede

I think that I’m gonna get murdered tonight

Human Centipede

Not ironically

She said

The costume design was a highlight

I like it for the plot

Tell me what the plots about

German doctor sews three people

ASS

To

MOUTH

COOL!

Human Centipede

Please god save me

I think that’s a

Red Flag

I don’t want to

Get Stabbed

She said

Human Centipede is a tour de force

I think

Holy sh*t i’m gonna be the main course

She said

I admire the narrative of character growth

I try

To get the waiters attention by blinking in morse code

Why are you blinking so much?

I’ve got something in my eyes

Here let me get it out

No thank you; I don’t wanna die

Bonjour

Sir was blinking at me

Is this because your date is a freak?