Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history

A few years ago

I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory

In New Mexico

I had a job there as a spy

No I guess you know

That the staff out there at that time

Was composed almost exclusively

Of spies

Of one persuasion or another

And while I was out there

I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed

Since the good old days of Wyatt Earp

And "Home on the Range "

And here then is amodern cowboy ballad commemorating

That delightful metamorphosis called

"The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be "

Along the trail you'll find me lopin'

Where the spaces are wide open

In the land of the old A E C Yee-hoo

Where the scenery's attractive

And the air is radioactive

Oh the Wild West is where I wanna be

'Mid the sagebrush and the cactus

I'll watch the fellows practice

Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze

A-ha

I'll have on my sombrero

And of course I'll wear a pair of

Levis over my lead B V D 's

I will leave the city's rush

Leave the fancy and the plush

Leave the snow and leave the slush

And the crowds

I will seek the desert's hush

Where the scenery is lush

How I long to see the mush-room clouds

'Mid the yuccas and the thistles

I'll watch the guided missiles

While the old F B I watches me

Yee-hoo

Yes I'll soon make my appearance

'Cause the Wild West is where I wanna be

The Wild West Is Where I Want to Be - Tom Lehrer