I Really Don't Hate Christmas

You see valentine's is torture and my birthday is a mess

New year's is a lot of noise and arbor day's a pest

Halloween's a horror but I guess I must confess

That I really don't hate christmas

You see flag day is infernal april fool's is just a bore

Mardi gras is a waste unless you own a candy store

All these other holidays I can admit that I abhor

But I really don't hate christmas

Now it isn't that I like it at the most I feel ambivalence

But should I really just destroy it I'll admit that I'm still on the fence

It makes me tense

From the evil scientists' community I'm sure to get ejected

But for christmas I can't seem to summon any true invective

Because what is there to hate I mean it's really so subjective

No I really don't hate christmas

I hate puppy dogs and kittens I hate flowers in the spring

Heck I even hate the sunshine and the birdies when they sing

I can work up animosity for almost anything

Tell me why I don't hate christmas

Though my childhood was atrocious christmas never was that bad you see

So the most that I can muster is complete and total apathy

What's wrong with me

How can I prove that I'm an evil villain worth his salt

When with a holiday so jolly I can't even find a fault

If I didn't feel ambiguous I'd launch a big assault

But I really don't hate christmas

Oh what the heck kickline

No I really

No I really don't hate christmas

I have an intense burning indifference