I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans (Charlie, hold on)
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once in а lifetime chance (it's just a meeting)
To change their minds and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have (this could be bad)
Cheer up, Vaggy, this could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in hell
Okay, but just don't sing to them (that bitch is halfway down the street)
Is she? (Oh, she's dancin')
Ugh, no
There's a warm, fuzzy feelin' that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a happy day in hell
Hi, mister! (Go fuck yourself!)
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul (hello)
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole (oh, excuse me)
Doin' what is required, we all have our role
I'm not doin' well
Another shitty day in hell
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change ('cause angels minds are hard to change)
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange (they're bloodthirsty and deranged)
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in hell
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the cannibal town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause, holy shit, oh my gosh, why?
And I don't give a crow that his brain's got in my eye
'Cause I know I can spare them from heaven's genocide
I can do this, I just know it (there's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven (ah-ah) behind my plans
There's just no way I could blow it (kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole)
Not this once (ah-ah) in а lifetime chance to change their minds (and touch my parts!)
Uh, no, thank you, I'm just gonna fulfill my destiny (your loss, bitch)
I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in hell
