Vox: Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn
Turn the TV on!
Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town
After a seven-year absence
Did anybody miss him?
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program
So, the Radio Demon is back in town
Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile
But the demon is a coward!
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible!
I'm visual, he's barely audible
Stop giving him the time of day
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay
But he should've stayed away
While he hid in radio
We pivoted to video
Now his medium is getting bloody rare
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been?
Who gives a shit!
Alastor: Salutations!
Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!
Vox: What a dated voice!
Alastor: Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast
Vox: Come on!
Alastor: Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?
Vox: Ignore his chirping!
Alastor: Every day, he's got a new format
Vox: You're looking at the future,
He's the shit that comes before that!
Alastor: Is Vox as strong as he purports
Or is it based on his support?
He'd be powerless without the other Vees
Vox: Oh, please!
Alastor: And here's the sugar on the cream
He asked me to join his team
Vox: Hold on!
Alastor: I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea
Vox: You old-timey prick
I'll show you suf-ffering
Alastor: Uh oh, the TV is buffering!
Vox: I'll destroy you, yo-ou lit-tle—
Alastor: I'm afraid you've lost your signal
Let's begin
I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone
Tune on in
When I'm done
Your status quo will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
