If I ever get arrested again, I've just got to make it big my friend

Cause talk is cheap and violence is funny and we got drunk and f****d up their party

Go to a party at a ritzy high rise, knock on the door, what a surprise!

Smashing tables, breaking chairs, Tim threw a cat down the stairs

When they throw me in the back of the car, I know what it'll be for

(Chorus)

{Criminal mischief, they called the law, Criminal mischief, kick a hole in the wall

Criminal mischief, I don't give a shit, About all you stupid pricks}

Go to a party in a ritzy high rise, knock on the door, what a surprise!

Smashing tables, breaking chairs, Tim threw a cat down the stairs

Hate art fags and the new wave, Face put a basketball in the microwave

Here comes a cop with a gun in his hand, I just pissed in the fresh fruit stand

When they throw me in the back of the car, I know what it'll be for

(Chorus)