Had to use a public restroom today ugh
Isn't that the worst when you have to
God damn it you walk in right
Here's the first thing I don't care
Anywhere in the country you go
Why when you walk into a public restroom
Why is everything f**king wet Right there's puddles
Water all over the counter
It's dripping like you're in a f**king cave
What happened
Was there like a shaggy dog in there after a bath
Just came in and
Then god forbid you have to use the stall right
You go in there you sit down you try to close the door which
Apparently Van Dam kicked in
Why are they all broken
Who was running in the bathroom
Like I gotta shit
I can't shit with a door in front of me
F**king door
I don't like being in a perfect square when I shit
Good Broken I like that Now I can shit
Door
Then you're sitting there right
And then you start to read
You start reading like all the most evil
Ignorant shit ever is all around you You just sit there
It's not just written with pencil it's f**king CARVED
Who is carving on the toilet
Who is so pissed off while they're taking a crap they're like
Goddamn Jews
UGH Blacks
UGH Here's my favorite too
On the walls someone always has to write
Mike was here
But then somebody else puts an arrow and writes
Mike is a faggot
Like Mike is coming back to check it out
What the f**k is this
I was here but not as a faggot
I'm trying to make a statement here
There's always like a girls number always a girls number
Is anybody ever f**king call
How did you meet you're wife John I was taking a crap
Bathroom - Dane Cook
