Things have come to a pretty pass

Our romance is growing flat

For you like this and the other

While I go for this and that

Goodness knows what the end will be

Oh I don't know where I'm at

It looks as if we two will never be one

Something must be done

You say either and I say either

You say neither and I say neither

Either either Neither neither

Let's call the whole thing off

You like potato and I like potahto

You like tomato and I like tomahto

Potato potahto tomato tomahto

Let's call the whole thing off

But oh if we call the whole thing off

Then we must part

And oh if we ever part

Then that might break my heart

So if you like pajamas and I like pyjahmas

I'll wear pajamas and give up pyajahmas

For we know we need each other so we

Better call the calling off off

Let's call the whole thing off

You say laughter and I say larfter

You say after and I say arfter

Laughter larfter after arfter

Let's call the whole thing off

You like vanilla and I like vanella

You saspiralla and I saspirella

Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry

Let's call the whole thing off

But oh if we call the whole thing off

Then we must part

And oh if we ever part

Then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters

I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters

For we know we need each other so we

Better call the calling off off

Let's call the whole thing off