When I was 8 years old

Before puberty took hold

I thought I'd

End up beside a princess bride

And love was indivisible

Never mind how my taste reflects

A disturbing Oedipal complex

It's not awkward girl

The compliments are coming next

You're no witch you're no wench

You're like Bjork with better fashion sense

A phone 50 cents

And I'm building up my confidence

Respect to your work you're an artist

I'm a silly jerk

I think that dynamic could work

So work it

I have a total crush on you baby

And I can't let it go oh no

I have a total crush on you baby baby

If only I could let you know

When we spoke no joke

I started shedding slutty girls

Like snake skin my collection

Acquired through shallow misdirection

And as I drive tonight

West coast sky

Daring me to try

I feel alive tonight

Possibility that I'm your guy

Though I suffer from dyslexia

Mild man-orexia

And my hair cannot commit

To one popular genre of music

And though they all claim

That a girl can't take a boy's last name

Or end up divorced and estranged

I'm counting on you

I have a total crush on you baby

And I can't let it go oh no

I have a total crush on you baby baby

If only I could

Your other suitors are no poets

They're only actors who can play guitar

Have I won your heart

They're not students or screenwriters

They're only models that they taught to read

Love would you agree

Have a total crush on you

I have a total crush on you baby

And I can't let it go oh no

I have a total crush on you baby baby

If only I could

Quite sure you love me Sherri

Quite sure I love you too

We should make a verbal agreement to only to kiss each other

Cause one time

Beneath the sky

Outside my new york pigsty

I saw a vision of you and I haha

Did it hurt Did it hurt Did it hurt

When you fell from heaven girl

Did it hurt Did it hurt Did it hurt

When you fell from heaven girl

La da-da da-da da-da la da-da da-da

La da-da da-da da-da la da-da da-da