We see our troubled queen now
Trudging through the snow
Looking for her next victim
Trinity hated the holiday season
In fact, Trinity hated everyone
Always trying to ruin the spirit of Christmas
It's snowing out and y'all filled with glee
It's ten below, I hope you freeze
Don't give me that holiday gaudiness, please
Those lights and glitter make me sneeze
Now listen up, take my advice
Stole Santa's list and I checked it twice
Y'all goodie two shoes gonna pay the price
Now, let me tell you what happens when you're nice, ha-ha-ha-ha
I'll take your presents, I'll snatch your ham
I'll eat your cookies, and take your man
I'll clog your chimney, I'll steal your tree
I'm vicious, don't mess with me
She's a mean one, she's a b***h
You can call her "Christmas witch" (wha-ha-ha-ha)
She's a Grinch in (get over here) big ol' heels (ha-ha-ha)
She's a Scrooge with (ew) sex appeal (ha), ha-ha-ha
Please, could you spare a little change for the poor?
Oh, I guess I've never done that before, tell me more
I just need some shillings for bread
You should've said, here you go, wait, never mind, hoe
It's not only Christmas that makes me rude
Listen, Hanukkah makes me wanna vomit too
I hate Kwanzaa and Boxing Day, I wanna fight you
Lemme call up Krampus, he can be my boo
I'll take your presents, I'll snatch your ham
I'll eat your cookies, and take your man
I'll clog your chimney, I'll steal your tree
I'm vicious, don't mess with me
She's a mean one (I'm a mean one), she's a b***h (I'm a very crazy b***h)
You can call her (call me) "Christmas witch" (ha-ha), ha-ha-ha
She's a Grinch in (oh, I hate these goddamn heels) big ol' heels
She's a Scrooge with sex appeal (ha), ha-ha-ha
I don't want a wreath, I don't want a tree
I'll choke you out with string lights, so let me be
Don't tell me to smile, don't wanna be jolly
Come on over and I'll show you where to stick ya holly
Can't stand the do-gooders out there asking for coin
Come caroling, I'll punch you square in the groin
I don't want glad tidings, I don't need no one's help
You can keep your stank-ass Jingle Bells to yourself (ooh)
Trinity?
Tiny Tammie, what are you doing here?
Um, well, I've been a fan of yours for a while
And I've never done drag before
But I was wondering maybe
If you wanted to be my drag mom?
Oh, my God! What am I feeling?
This tingling sensation
Have I finally discovered the true magic of Christmas?
Mmm, nope
She's a mean one (ha-ha-ha), she's a b***h (suck it, tiny Tammie)
You can call her (and Scrooge, you too) Christmas witch (ah), ha-ha-ha
She's a Grinch in (guess I'm a Grinch then) big ol' heels (big ol' heels!)
She's a Scrooge with sex appeal (ah), ha-ha-ha
