First of all I go to dr dorfman
He totally messes up my nose job
I ask him to make me look
Like guyneth paltrow
I get off the surgery table
Looking like freakin' shrek
Oooh she came to l a with big dreams
Bright lights and big screens
She wanted us to buy some mixed drinks
The b***h thinks not a drop of her shit stinks
What would you do for a role on a hit show
Go on the strip pole
Let both of your tits show
I got a cousin up at hbo
I'll give you his name and
Number for fellatio
It was all a dream flipping t
Hrough people's magazine
Critiquing celebrities
And their inadequacies
She puffs a cigarette for
Lunch and then goes tanning at 3
She's getting acting jobs sleeping
With her manager steve
She goes to auditions hoping
That she really gets that spot
But she doesn't so she drowns
Her sorrows in wheat grass shots
Goes to motivational seminars
And bars with big name stars
Using her daddy's credit card
Thinking she's living large
Reality is she ain't got a
Quarter to her name
Just an eating disorder you
Should just forfeit out the game
Girl give up your acting career
And go back to your parent's house
Or put out a few s*x tapes
That nobody will hear about
Oooh she came to l a with big dreams
Bright lights and big screens
She wanted us to
Buy some mixed drinks
The b***h thinks not a
Drop of her shit stinks
What would you do to
Walk on the red carpet
Jerk off the security guard that guards it
She came to c a to be
Made but ended up in a 3 way
Just to get a job as a p a
Celebrety fashion
She's steadily trying to duplicate
Dressin' like a hilton but
She's staying at the super rate
Cheap boob job got the sides of 'em ripplin'
You can see multiple scalpel
Wounds in her n****e skin
She be trippin' when
She don't get the part
But it isn't in her art to
Be knowing the art
She never acted in her life
She was hoping to start from the top
Fk drama class mama says
I've got pizzaz
And the it factor but reality's a
b***h and the shit smacked
Her dead in her face
You'll never be chased by paparazzi honey
And I ain't got a dime
On your kamikaze money
Oooh she came to l a with big dreams
Bright lights and big screens
She wanted us to buy
Some mixed drinks
The b***h thinks not a
Drop of her shit stinks
What would you do
For a part in a movie
Swallow a roofie offer a
My uncle casted all of spielberg's hits
I'll give you his card
If you let me feel your tits
Yogurt and yoga mats who
You foolin' with all of that
The pilot's been cancelled the
Casting agent ain't calling back
She's reading the secret
Hoping to be in the dealers
Cruising the streets in her prius
Thinking that she's an elitest
A member of peta but she
Rocking that leather and cheeta
She's a 3 on the meter but
She belive that she is a diva
Drinking only bottled water
That she can't even pronounce
Hoping to be followed by
Paparazzi leaving her house
Dreaming 'bout getting eaten
Out by a celebrity with some
Brad pitt d**k deep in her mouth
She's thinking if it ever happens
And her needle come out
Poke a hole in the condom
Hoping semen comes out
Cause maybe if she had that
Other mouth to feed in her house
Maybe he'd be her spouse
She'd be the angelena jolie of
Two thousand whatever
Year that took place in
You ain't clever dear you've
Just got a good imagination
Oooh she came to l a with big dreams
Bright lights and big screens
She wanted us to buy
Some mixed drinks
The b***h thinks not a
Drop of her shit stinks
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
Do you like
I don't think I am a girl
Oh my god
Oh my god now
Oh my god
O m g
O m g
