Rap Battle

Barney Stinson

Vs

Sheldon Cooper

Begin!

Ted, hold my drink, where are all the blondes hidden?

I came here to pick up chicks, not pick fights with chickens

'Cause wimps like you just aren't my type of women (Freeze!)

Here's how I put the bar in Barney Stinson

I can tell you're lacking any friends to love

Work alone 'cause you don't have good chemistry with anyone

And your look is flavourless like all of your later skits

You really took your character development and said "Wait for it"

The Fahrenheit is just as numbing as your face tonight

Get your mom to test your case of crazy eyes

But I can tell you're slow so I'll explain it in your slang

How I Met Your Mother? It started with a Big Bang

I'll have you know I'm a theoretical physicist

But I bet that this idiot doesn't get what the difference is

I just can't watch how you're collecting numbers at your friends' cost

Take a seat, Swarley, and listen to my Ted talk

Welcome to Fun With Flags, we got a red flag today

Which was raised by many of Barney's questionable plays

There's a line of sexual harassment charges against you, stud

Better law, suit up, You're the greatest at dating?

A most illogical statement

I've done the math on your playbook and after various equations

I've found if you plug the numbers erase pity as a factor

The sum of women you end up with is equal to your actor

And I'm the master at conducting these tracks

I thought you had fire magic, you should have used it in your raps

But when it comes to making sense, I'm swimming in many

While nowadays you're struggling to earn a penny

Tell that laugh track that plays after every two words

Your showrunners are Sith Lords forcing laughs at this loser

I call dibs on babes before they take off their blouse

You call dibs on printing your asscheeks on the couch

Your jokes are way too basic, like who the hell would say this?

It's no surprise a scientist's humor is formulaic

I'm too sick, you suck at everything that you do (kid)

Call this battle virginity, it's the only time you'd lose it (Oh!)

You've gotten nowhere with the life path you're walking

What's you expect following in the footsteps of Stephen Hawking?

I invoke the Lemon Law, I'm ending this speed date

Only player you'll ever be in during PC games

You're right, I shouldn't target you

You got an awesome life and I'm jealous of your Barnitude

It's hard to pick the right chic to ring up

But even I can tell that robin

Doesn't wanna be your sidekick (Bazinga!)

From your dad's abandonment to the babies you're ditching

I'm fairly certain this battle marks your first real commitment

Before you'd suit up, you couldn't get anyone aroused

You were such a hippie, your first girl peaced out

Who's actually the one lacking social skills? You!

Fell in love with yourself because you had no one else to

You utterly disgust me

Leonard, please save me from this walking pile of STDs

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

The next rap battle is on the way!