I′ve never had too much luck with females

I'm not confident unless I′m writing an e-mail

But my life would be so sublime

If I bought a robot girl online

I'd never hear her silicone mouth complaining

About my dry scalp or my excessive gaming

She's my Small Wonder, I′m her Voltron

I flip a switch and it turns her on

My robot girlfriend

The best relationship I′d ever be in

She's got a grip stronger than an ape

And she can calculate a tip to the 25th decimal place

Though we can′t go out in rainy weather

We can still play Solitaire together ("Nicely done, boyfriend.")

Meeting her folks is no real cause for fear

They're just a team of friendly Japanese engineers

If I ever start to think that she might leave me

I′ll defrag her harddrive and wipe her memory

My robot girlfriend

The best relationship I'll never be in