A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance my friend this is

We should be like

A couple of hot tomatoes

But you're as cold as

Yesterday's mashed potatoes

A fine romance you won't nestle

A fine romance you won't wrestle

I might as well play bridge

With my old maid aunt

I haven't got a chance

This is a fine romance

A fine romance my good fellow

You take romance but baby I'll take jello

You're calmer than the seals

In the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins

To express emotion

A fine romance with no quarrels

With no insults and all morals

I've never mussed the crease

In your blue serge pants

I never get the chance

This is a fine romance