Fuck Guns 'N' Roses without Slash

A real man never uses hair product unless he's black

Toilet paper is for queers

Gargling after a blowjob is how they make light beer

You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun

My dad says that's for pussies

Ain't gonna lift the seat to whizz

Just 'cause it's called men's gymnastics doesn't mean it is

This Fairtrade coffee tastes like gay

Now seems like a good time to out Matthew McConaughey

You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun

My dad says that's for pussies

Libraries, back-up parachutes and the Versailles Treaty

Seatbelts, hurricane warnings and anti-freeze

Rogaine, helmets, CPR and Kenny G

Wheelchairs, Ghandi, rehab, braille and harmonies

John Wayne would never use a surge protector

You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun

My dad says that's for pussies

You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun

My dad says that's for pussies

You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun

My dad says, my dad says

My dad says that's for pussies