When we started making money

When we started making friends

We found a home as soon as we were able to

We bought this bijou residence for about a thousand more

Than the house our little house was once the stable to

With charm

Colour values

Wit

And structural alteration

Now designed for graceful living

It has quite a reputation

We're terribly House and Garden

At number seven-B

We live in a most amusing muse

Ever so very contemporary

We're terribly House and Garden

The money that one spends

To make a place that won't disgrace

Our House and Garden friends

We've planned an uninhibited interior decor

Curtains made of straw

We've wallpapered the floor

We don't know if we like it but at least we can

Be sure

There's no place like Home Sweet Home

It's fearfully Maison Jardin

At number seven-B

We've rediscovered the chandelier

Tres tres very contemporary

We're terribly House and Garden

Now at last we've got the chance

The garden's full of furniture

And the house is full of plants

It doesn't make for comfort

But it simply has to be

'Cause we're ever so terribly up-to-date

Contemp-or-ar-or-y

Have you a home that cries out to your every visitor

"Here lives someone who is exciting to know"

No

Well why not collect those little metal

Bottle-tops and nail them upside-down to the floor

This will give the sensation of walking on little metal

Bottle-tops turned upside-down

Why not get hold of an ordinary Northumbrian

Spokeshaver's coracle Paint it in contrasting stripes

Of say telephone black and white white and hang it

Up in the hall for a guitar tidy for parties

Why not drop in one evening for a mess of pottage

Our speciality just aubergine and carnation petals

With a six-shilling bottle of Mielle du Pap a feast

Fit for a king

I'm delirious about our new cooker fitment with the

Eye-level grille This means that without my having to

Bend down the hot fat can squirt straight into my

Eyes

We're frightfully House and Garden

At number seven-B

The walls are patterned with shrunken heads

Ever so very contemporary

Our boudoir on the open plan has been a huge

Success

Though everywhere's so open there's nowhere

Safe to dress

With little screens and bottle lamps

And motifs here and there

Mobiles in the air

Ivy everywhere

You mustn't be surprised to meet a cactus on the stair

But we call it Home Sweet Home

We're terribly House and Garden

As I think we've said before

But though seven-B is madly gay

It wouldn't do for every day

We actually live in seven-A

In the house next door