Well the hulk of a man with a beer in his hand

Looked like a drunk old fool

And I knew that if I hit him right

I could knock him off that stool

But everybody said "Watch out that's Tiger Man McCool

He's had a whole lot of fights

He always come out the winner

But I'd had myself about five too many

And I walked up tall and proud

I faced his back and I faced the fact that he'd never stooped or bowed

I said "Tiger Man you're a pussycat " and a hush fell on the crowd

I said "Let's you and me go outside and see who's the winner"

Well he gripped the bar with one big hairy hand and he braced against the wall

He slowly looked up from his beer

My God that man was tall

He said "Boy I see you're a scrapper so just before you fall

I'm gonna tell you just a little what a means to be a winner "

He said "You see these bright white smiling teeth you know they ain't my own

Mine rolled away like Chiclets down a street in San Antone

But I left that person cursing nursing seven broken bones

And he only broke three of mine so I am the winner

He said "Behind his grin I got a steel pin that holds my jaw in place

A trophy of my most successful motorcycle race

And every morning when I wake and touch this scar across my face

It reminds me of all I got by being a winner

Now my broken back was the dying act of handsome Harry Clay

That sticky Cincinnatti night I stole his wife away

But that woman she gets uglier and meaner every day

But I got her boy and that's what makes me a winner

I got arthuritic elbows boy I got dislocated knees

From picking fights with thunderstorms and charging into trees

And my nose been broke so often I might lose it if I sneeze

Son you say you still wanna be a winner

You gotta speak loud when you challenge me son 'cause it's hard for me to hear

With this twisted neck and these migraine pains and this cauliflower ear

'N' if it weren't for this glass eye of mine I'd shed a happy tear

To think of all you'll get by being a winner

Now as I kick in your family jewels you see my left leg drags

This jacket's kinda padded up where my right shoulder sags

And there's a special part of me I keep in this paper bag

And I'll show it to you if you want to see all of the winner

Now you remind me a lot of my younger days with your knuckles clenching white

Boy I'm gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night

There's something let you gotta prove by winning some silly fight

OK I quit I lose son you're the winner

So I stumbled from that barroom not so tall and not so proud

And behind me I could hear the hoots of laughter from the crowd

But my eyes still see and my nose still works and my teeth are still in my mouth

And you know I guess that makes me a winner