Right now you are down and out

And feeling really crappy

I'll say

And when I see how sad you are

It sort of makes me happy (happy?)

Sorry Nicky, human nature

Nothing I can do

It's schadenfreude

Making me feel glad that I'm not you

Well, that's not very nice Gary

I didn't say it was nice

But everybody does it

D'ya ever clap when a waitress falls

And drops a tray of glasses (yeah)

And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters

Fallin' on their asses (sure)

Don't ya feel all warm and cozy

Watchin' people out in the rain

That's schadenfreude

People taking pleasure in yo' pain

Schadenfreude? What's that, some kinda Nazi word

Yup! It's German for 'Happiness at the misfortune of others'

'Happiness at the misfortune of others'

That is German

Watching a vegetarian

Being told she just ate chicken

Or watching a frat boy realise

Just what he put his d**k in

Being on an elevator when somebody shouts

'Hold the door'

No

Schadenfreude

Fuck you lady that's what stairs are for

Ooh, how about

Straight a student getting b's

Exes getting STD's

Waking doormen from their naps

Watching tourists reading maps

Football players getting tackled

CEO's getting shackled

Watching actors never reach

The ending of their Oscar speech

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

The world needs people like you and me

Who've been knocked around by fate

'Cause when people see us

They don't wanna be us

And that makes them feel great

We provide a vital service to society

You and me

Schadenfreude

Making the world a better place

Making the world a better place

Making the world a better place to be

S C H A D E N F R E U D E