A lot of people don't know this but I, Danny Sexbang

Have been quietly working on the sexiest romance novel ever

For the past sixteen years

I would like to share a taste of it with you now

Please enjoy this excerpt from my deeply sensual tale

"Claudia Goes to Schlongtown: Part 6, The Erectening"

Ninja Brian, would you?

"I love p**s!" Claudia said to Jeff

Seductively caressing both of her yamyams

"Allow me to get you some from the kitchen"

Jeff said with a twinkle in his eye

"No, not peanuts Jeff! Those aren't the nuts I'm interested in"

She grabbed him on the penis-iest part of his body

"But a peanut isn't a nut," Jeff mansplained. "It's a legume."

Woah Brian, what's the problem?

What do you mean it's not romantic?

I'm an amazing lover and I've lived through this exact scenario hundreds of times

"I feel like we're getting off-topic Jeff" Claudia said

"But now that you mention it, I could go for a peanut butter sandwich"

"P**s butter? I don't think I have any of that." Jeff groaned, hornily

Eat dicks Brian! This is romantic as f**k! Do not throw that piano at me again

Fine! I'll cut ahead to the end of the chapter

Claudia and Jeff lay naked in the p**s butter tub

On top of the Empire State Building

Their bodies entwined like two sexlampreys

"Should we invite Ninja Brian over?" Claudia asked

"No!" Jeff yelled

"Ninja Brian sucks and his face is lame

And he's stupid and his d**k is so small that"

Not the piano!

Ughh my peanuts