Started life as a Christian

I was enticed by religion

To spark a spiritual life that was missing

As an acolyte

A white Jesus had me actin' right

Chasing the thoughts of an after life

So I attended service like clockwork

Sunday's best

And socks from the top drawer

But Jesus wasn't the reason for my Oxfords

I mostly went for this girl I had the hots for

Whenever I was kinda bored

Thoughts of the girl I adored ignite a war

Haunted by the angry white Jesus by the door

Natural impulses I strive to ignore

I was divided to the core

The age-old battle

Between human anatomy vs science of the Lord

I came real close to leaving my burdens by the door

Until I asked the preacher man about the dinosaurs

It seems if we lie

Will we lay there beside it

They say that it's right

But it doesn't seem righteous

She didn't really wanna get Botox really

She rather vowed against it

But opportunity arose

It would increase her chances to get this gig

Her manager said

"I'm not saying anything

But we could really use it right now

Besides what's the big deal

Everybody does it

We need the work

And as I face it

Everybody hires once

We gotta play the game

We're married to a different f**kin' custom

A pioneer of something new

That's a lotta work to do

I personally I don't think that you got it in you

To champion a new cause

You look really good in draws

Sometimes you gotta follow f**kin' laws and shit"

They rival the stars

And they all fight with lightning

We sit by the fire

And conspire here in silence

It seems if we lie

Will we lay there beside it

They say that it's right

But it doesn't seem righteous