Hey, girls
This is Ray Stevens
Earl didn’t die
Hey, gals
This is your old pal, Harlan
Earl ain’t dead
He’s just been restin' up for all that hard work ahead
Hey, girls
Whisperin’ Bill, here
He’s back
Hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn’t die
I guess the PG poison
Didn’t do the job you asked
All they did was knock me out
And give me a little gas
Even though some time passed
And you thought I was dead
The only lastin' damage-
I must’a hit my head
Rollin' down the hill in that tarp
Wrapped up with strings
I came to
But could not
Remember anything
But hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn't die
Ha-ha-ha
Hey, girls
This is Earl
Bye-bye-bye
So I must’a come around
About the time I hit the lake
There I was with amnesia
Floatin' ‘round awake
But the lake must’a drained off into a river
'Cuz suddenly, I started movin' faster than ever
Must'a floated forty miles and two counties away
Where an old widow woman
Found me layin' there that day
But hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn't die
Ha-ha-ha
Hey, girls
This is Earl
My turn to say
Goodbye
Well she nursed me back to health
And didn't tell no one
I guess she was just happy
That some company had come
She fed me cornbread
Milk and butter from a churn
Slowly my strength
And my memory returned
And hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn't die
Ha-ha-ha
Hey, girls
This is Earl
Bye-bye-bye
But nice try
So, here I am down
At the police station
I turn myself in
It's time to face the situation
Showed 'em the tarp
And my shirt
And my jeans
That little object stained
From your black-eyed peas
There's forensic evidence
Of poison in it
Fingerprints on the tarp
You'll be arrested any minute
But hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn't die
Ha-ha-ha
Hey, girls
This is Earl
An eye for an eye
Yeah, I'll take my punishment
I know I was wrong
A few months in the workhouse
It won't seem all that long
But Mary Anne and Wanda
Now, don't you shed those tears
You can still be best friends
Behind bars
For twenty years
Hey, girls
This is Earl
I didn't die
Ha-ha-ha
Now smile wide
When the policeman says
Let's go for a
Ride
Hey, girls
This is Earl
My turn to say
Goodbye
That roadside stand of yours?
Hasta luego, El Crocodillo
Remember me, Earl?
I didn't die
I'm still around
Goodbye!
Hey, girls
Whisperin' Bill, here
He's back
It’s me again, Wanda
Girls, girls
I didn’t die
Girls, girls
I didn’t die
Girls, girls
I didn’t die
Girls
