we've been together for so very long

but now things are changing

oh i wonder what's wrong

seems you don't want me around

the passion is gone and

the flame's died down

i guess i lost a little

bit of self esteem

that time that you made it

with the whole hockey team

you used to think i was nice

now you tell all your friends

that i'm the antichrist

oh why did you disconnect

the brakes in my car

that kind of thing is hard to ignore

got a funny feeling

you don't love me anymore

i knew that we were having problems when

you put those piranhas

in my bathtub again

you're still the light of my life

oh darling i'm beggin won't

you put down that knife

you know i even think

it's kinda cute the way

you poison my coffee

just a little each day

i still remember the

way that you laughed

when you pushed me down

that elevator shaft

oh if you don't mind me asking

what's this poisonous cobra

doing in my underwear drawer

sometime i get to thinking

you don't love me any more

you slammed my face down

on the barbecue grill

now my scars are all healing

but my heart never will

you set my house on fire

you pulled out my chest hairs

with an old pair of pliers

oh you think i'm ugly

and you say i'm cheap

you shaved off my eyebrows

while i was asleep

you drilled a hole in my head

then you dumped me in a drainage

ditch and left me for dead

oh you know this really

isn't like you at all

you never acted this way before

honey something tells me

you don't love me any more oh no no

got a funny feeling

you don't love me anymore