(BETELGEUSE)
GASP
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
"Yes I do! Yes I do!"
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around
And kill him!
LYDIA What?
(BETELGEUSE)Nothing.
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll e terminate, assassinate
LYDIA No!
(BETELGEUSE)
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but
that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name
Girl, just say it three times in a row
And you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but Coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
LYDIA
I don't know your name.
(BETELGEUSE)
Well, I can't say it.
LYDIA
How 'bout a game of charades?
BETELGEUSE
Yes, let's play it!
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Two words...(Right.)
Second word?(Uh huh.)
Drink?(No.)
Beverage?(No.)
Wine?(No!)
Juice?!(Yes!)
Okay. First word...(Okay.)
Bug?(No.)
Ant?(Close, but no.)
Beetle?(Yes!)
Beetle juice?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Wow, I'm impressed. And all you
gotta do is say my name three
times. Three times in a row, it
must be spoken unbroken. Ready?
LYDIA Yeah...
(BETELGEUSE)Okay, go.
LYDIA Betelgeuse...
(BETELGEUSE)Yesss...
LYDIA Betelgeuse...
(BETELGEUSE)Yesss...
LYDIA Beeeeeeeeeeeeee
(BETELGEUSE)
Oh! Oh! This is gonna be so good!
LYDIA cause!
(BETELGEUSE)What?!
LYDIA
You're so smart
A stand up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Betelgeuse
(BETELGEUSE)Yes!
LYDIA Betelgeuse
(BETELGEUSE)Yes!
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Being young and female (AGH!)
Doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimmin' with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Betelgeuse (heh)
Betelgeuse (ehhh)
Be a doll and spare the lecture
(BETELGEUSE)
I'm offering you a full time spectre
LYDIA
Are you any good?
(BETELGEUSE)
You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
LYDIA
I just met ya
Really, it's a flattering offer
(BETELGEUSE)
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
LYDIA
I think I'd rather just jump off
(BETELGEUSE)No!
LYDIA
I may be suicidal
But Betelgeuse, it's not
as if I've lost my mind
(BETELGEUSE)
So, playing hardball, huh? You
are tougher than you look.
LYDIA
Just wanna make sure I know who I'm
working with. Got any references?
BARBARA
Lydia, there you are!
ADAM
Are you alright?
(BETELGEUSE)
A Dog, B Town, my old pals!
ADAM
Get away from her! Lydia, this is
a dangerously unstable individual.
BETELGEUSE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.
BARBARA
Betelgeuse is se y!
ADAM
Betelgeuse is smart!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all ended on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
BARBARA
What the heck was that?
ADAM
So violating!
(BETELGEUSE)
There you go, kid. Couple
of five star reviews.
LYDIA
What was that?
(BETELGEUSE)
That was possession. Any ghost can
do that in less than one lesson.
LYDIA
Any ghost?
(BETELGEUSE)
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure.
LYDIA
Then, Betelgeuse...
what do I need you for?
(BETELGEUSE)
Whoa, whoa
Whoa whoa whoa!
Hold up! Hold up, girl!
I'm your pal
They're sweet, but I'm a
demon straight from Hell
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
But we're BF F F F's forever! WOAH!
LYDIA pushes BETELGEUSE off
of the roof of the house.
ADAM BARBARA
Lydia!
LYDIA
What? He was already dead. And
you heard what he said, any ghost
can do that possession stuff.
(sung)
We don't need that demon
The three of us alone
can wreck dad's evening
Together we can make a grown man weep
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
ADAM
Okay, so what's the plan?
LYDIA ADAM BARBARA
Teach dad a lesson
He's gonna freak when we possess him
So he wants the perfect daughter
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Yeah, I got game!
I'm gonna make him say my name
Make him say your name
I'll make him say my name
Make him say your name
I'll make him say my name
Make him say your name
Not running away!
I'll make him say my name!
(BETELGEUSE)
GASP
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
"Yes I do! Yes I do!"
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around
And kill him!
(BETELGEUSE)Nothing.
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll e terminate, assassinate
(BETELGEUSE)
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but
that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name
Girl, just say it three times in a row
And you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but Coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
(BETELGEUSE)
Well, I can't say it.
BETELGEUSE
Yes, let's play it!
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Two words...(Right.)
Second word?(Uh huh.)
Drink?(No.)
Beverage?(No.)
Wine?(No!)
Juice?!(Yes!)
Okay. First word...(Okay.)
Bug?(No.)
Ant?(Close, but no.)
Beetle?(Yes!)
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Wow, I'm impressed. And all you
gotta do is say my name three
times. Three times in a row, it
must be spoken unbroken. Ready?
(BETELGEUSE)Okay, go.
(BETELGEUSE)Yesss...
(BETELGEUSE)Yesss...
(BETELGEUSE)
Oh! Oh! This is gonna be so good!
(BETELGEUSE)What?!
(BETELGEUSE)Yes!
(BETELGEUSE)Yes!
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Being young and female (AGH!)
Ok, Betelgeuse (heh)
Betelgeuse (ehhh)
(BETELGEUSE)
I'm offering you a full time spectre
(BETELGEUSE)
You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
(BETELGEUSE)
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
(BETELGEUSE)No!
(BETELGEUSE)
So, playing hardball, huh? You
are tougher than you look.
(BETELGEUSE)
A Dog, B Town, my old pals!
BETELGEUSE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.
(BETELGEUSE)
There you go, kid. Couple
of five star reviews.
(BETELGEUSE)
That was possession. Any ghost can
do that in less than one lesson.
(BETELGEUSE)
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure.
(BETELGEUSE)
Whoa, whoa
Whoa whoa whoa!
Hold up! Hold up, girl!
I'm your pal
They're sweet, but I'm a
demon straight from Hell
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
But we're BF F F F's forever! WOAH!
LYDIA pushes BETELGEUSE off
of the roof of the house.
LYDIA What?
LYDIA No!
LYDIA
I don't know your name.
LYDIA
How 'bout a game of charades?
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Two words...(Right.)
Second word?(Uh huh.)
Drink?(No.)
Beverage?(No.)
Wine?(No!)
Juice?!(Yes!)
Okay. First word...(Okay.)
Bug?(No.)
Ant?(Close, but no.)
Beetle?(Yes!)
Beetle juice?
LYDIA Yeah...
LYDIA Betelgeuse...
LYDIA Betelgeuse...
LYDIA Beeeeeeeeeeeeee
LYDIA cause!
LYDIA
You're so smart
A stand up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Betelgeuse
LYDIA Betelgeuse
LYDIA (BETELGEUSE)
Being young and female (AGH!)
Doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimmin' with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Betelgeuse (heh)
Betelgeuse (ehhh)
Be a doll and spare the lecture
LYDIA
Are you any good?
LYDIA
I just met ya
Really, it's a flattering offer
LYDIA
I think I'd rather just jump off
LYDIA
I may be suicidal
But Betelgeuse, it's not
as if I've lost my mind
LYDIA
Just wanna make sure I know who I'm
working with. Got any references?
LYDIA
What was that?
LYDIA
Any ghost?
LYDIA
Then, Betelgeuse...
what do I need you for?
LYDIA pushes BETELGEUSE off
of the roof of the house.
LYDIA
What? He was already dead. And
you heard what he said, any ghost
can do that possession stuff.
(sung)
We don't need that demon
The three of us alone
can wreck dad's evening
Together we can make a grown man weep
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
LYDIA ADAM BARBARA
Teach dad a lesson
He's gonna freak when we possess him
So he wants the perfect daughter
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Yeah, I got game!
I'm gonna make him say my name
I'll make him say my name
I'll make him say my name
Not running away!
I'll make him say my name!
ADAM
Are you alright?
ADAM
Get away from her! Lydia, this is
a dangerously unstable individual.
BETELGEUSE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.
ADAM
Betelgeuse is smart!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all ended on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
ADAM
So violating!
ADAM BARBARA
Lydia!
ADAM
Okay, so what's the plan?
LYDIA ADAM BARBARA
Make him say your name
Make him say your name
Make him say your name
Not running away!
BARBARA
Lydia, there you are!
BETELGEUSE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.
BARBARA
Betelgeuse is se y!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all ended on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
BARBARA
What the heck was that?
ADAM BARBARA
Lydia!
LYDIA ADAM BARBARA
Make him say your name
Make him say your name
Make him say your name
Not running away!
