(Knock On Door)
[WITCH, spoken] It's me...
the witch from next-door...
Figured I should tell you about
the curse I placed on this house...
So here goes... In the past,
when you were no more than a babe
Your father brought his young wife
And you to this cottage
They were a lovely couple
But not lovely neighbors
Your mother was with child
And she developed an unusual appetite
She took one look at my beautiful garden
And told your father what she wanted more than anything
In the world, was
Greens, greens, nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddle ferns and lettuce
He said, "All right,"
But it wasn't, quite
Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me
Raping me
Rooting through my rutabaga
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
My champion! My favorite!
I should have laid a spell on him
Right there
I could have turned him into stone
Or a dog...
Or a chair... (Chuckles)
But I let him have the rampion-
I'd lots to spare
In return, however
I said, "Fair is fair:
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear (beat, beat)
And we'll call it square."
Sooooo, you had a sister...
But, she's mine now!
And you'll never find her...
Because how was I to know what your Father had also hidden in his pocket...
My mother warned me
That I would be punished
With the curse of ugliness
If I ever lost any of the....
Beans, Beans,
The special beans
I'd let him go, I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall
Then bang! Crash!
A lightning flash!
Well, that's another story
Never mind-
Anyway, at last
The big day came
And I made my claim
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched
But I did
And I hid her
Where she'll never be reached
And your father cried
And your mother died
When for extra measure-
I admit it was a pleasure-
I said, "Sorry
I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them-
You, too, son-
That your family tree
Would always be a barren one
[BAKER, spoken]
How could you do that?
(Witchy Laughter)
So there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives-
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same
I tell kings and queens:
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans...
[WITCH, spoken]
You wish to have
The curse reversed?
I'll need a certain
Potion first
Go to the woods and bring me back
One: the cow as white as milk
Two: the cape as red as blood
Three: the hair as yellow as corn
Four: the slipper as pure as gold
Bring me these
Before the chime
Of midnight
In three day's time
and you shall have
I guarantee
A child as perfect
As child can be
(Scary Yell) GO TO THE WOOD!
