Alright, show me redemption

Step one, say you'll get it done

Make redemption your resolution (fine)

Step two, bid the booze adieu (hey!)

A sober mind's primed for absolution

Step three, dignity!

Try dressing more modestly

Step four, feed the poor

Hey, ain't you that fancy whore?

Five, six, seven, eight

Come on, buddy, concentrate

Change some babies and help old ladies across the street

Isn't he sweet? (Uh-huh, right)

Come on, Angel, you're far from shameful, just misunderstood

You can be good for good (whoa-oh)

All you skeptics, pay close attention

We'll speedrun from here to redemption (whoo)

Step nine, give a hobo a dime

Yeah, no way, this story is bogus (ah, ah, ah, ah)

Step ten, do one through nine again (again?)

Just in case the angels in charge didn't notice

Step 11 (little question, this guy gets to Heaven, how?)

Step 12, what the hell? Pentious was redeemed by now

13, 14, 15, 16, better, nicer, faster, quickly!

Wear this top hat and build a rocket

You gotta commit (start speaking like this)

Have depression, an egg obsession, and a leathery hood

And then you'll be good for good

Then save a friend from a certain demise (oh, fuck!)

Maybe the key is self-sacrifice

If you offer up your life with pure intentions

We'll speedrun from here to redemption!

I hate you